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Wednesday, February 1, 2006

Bean Pointer

Beloved Staff,

Happy Black History Month! 333 days remain in 2006 (if you’re into that Julian stuff – I prefer the Sothic cycle). I’m not a religious person, but that seems halfway Satanic to me.

From what I’ve been hearing, our first Official Cowboy Day was a success. I made it my business to hang up “Git ‘R Done” signs in all the offices to boost morale, but I’ve since taken them down as the majority of the staff harbor too many awful memories of that noxious redneck program to appreciate the gleaming sagacity which was the source of this mighty maxim.

As you all know, I’ve passed an eon out of state, investigating certain weak points in our approach. Many booze-soaked Sabbaths have pointed me in the right direction; I’ve drafted some new policies that I’ve been testing out and they seem to be going pretty well. Just business as always: Enjoy the wine, but toss the sour grapes.

On the money tip, I’m sure it’s been noticed that our returns this and last quarter aren’t exactly fluxing like they once were. That’s okay, we pay top dollar for some of the world’s best financial advice, so let them worry about the benjamins.

To put it plain, this fiscal year we’ve entered a state of financial hibernation - our monthly roundup has kept pretty even, which really I don’t see any reason to complain about. Now at least we know how much paperwork is in store for us every week. Anyway, don’t fret; those paychecks ain’t gonna change.

One parting thought. Walking to the office today, I couldn’t help but think of what noble work it is to be the CEO of such a company. I soon found myself hand on heart, awash with great pride. I could rattle on about it, but if there's anything I hate it's being superfluous. At MarkCorp, everything we make is sacred. Now let’s get back to work.

MYW at 5:39 PM

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