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Thursday, August 25, 2005

Extraño

I'd like to sit and type my guts out, to purge my toxins, but this house ain't mine. My tears don´t belong in it.

Facebook is compounding my nervousness into a big juicy hunk of melancholy. All these people that I used to know, look at em! All grown up, with sassy pictures, and those clever quotes! They're so cool. All those people I convinced myself I hated. Sacks of shit devoid of unique thought, mere puddles of doo begging to be stepped in by the shoe of the grand scheme.

And I remember why I hate the Grammys, why I never went to their back-patting parties. I could say it was for intellectual reasons, but the reality is simply that I was never invited.

MYW at 3:19 PM

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Voyager

DeadBabiesRHot Is Away

MYW at 12:01 PM

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Friday, August 5, 2005

House Cleaning

I was cleaning out my room today and I eureka'd many curious artifacts. Tokens of lost love; Disciplinary letters from Morford; baseball awards and swimming ribbons; video games, legos, junk, action figures. Naturally, I was nostalgic. How can one avoid romancing when he comes upon pictures of a dead girl, love letters, gorgeous doodles by his own hand, or papers graded by ghosts? And I realized that I've been spending as long as I can remember posturing, pretending to be wise, cool, a great writer, a basketball star. As far as I can tell, I never passed age 7 in anything except mathematical ability. I still eat potato chips dipped in ketchup, I still dance to Michael Jackson in my room, I still tell myself stories about being in love. It sounds like some kind of houswifed Hallmark sagacity, but I don't mean it that way. The feeling seems profound to me, but I suppose I've heard this kind of junk recited in dozens of shitty movies.

I don't really know what this all means, or why I am writing about it, but it seems important. Like the beginning of something new - is this the final ridge of which reverent Indians speak? Whatever it is, it might add up to something eventually, so I'm just going to go with it.

MYW at 7:28 PM

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