Friday, December 5, 2008
Time Capsule
"You have too many feelings," she says, and it could be true. I certainly don't need any more of em, but what would I really do with fewer? As troublesome as they are, could I really trade them away for mood permanence? Anyway today, woke with a melancholy, feeling forlorn. For me the blues engender the most reckless nihilism, the most abject identity crisis. Tonight, I thought I might cheer myself up imagining a future. I figure this blog will still be around - the internet is about as permanent an institution as exists anymore. Stumbling upon these old gossips, what will I think in thirty years? I hope I still get all my jokes!For future me, I shall describe my desk:
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Solid hardwood construction, boasts three drawers and a stowable writing surface. The chair is uncomfortable but formidable, handsome. It has no padding to speak of, just wood - but a slight assgroove, which actually makes it even less suitable for long lucubration. One's lower extremities tend to go numb after a matter of minutes. The area is strewn with papers, discs, books and other goodies. Ratatat comes over my speakers. This album I have just rediscovered after a month or so long absence. It used to be my safezone music for Charlotte visits, which I believe may have led to sobredosis, and later, retirement.
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Well- you can see how I like to wander. Will future me remark on how much Mencken there is in that paragraph? Or will he by then be filtering his world through Delillo? And will he recall Jonah, Taylor, and Tommy, the posters on my wall and the clothes in my closet, all the cultural gobbledygook swimming around my noggin, and weep? Or will he just feel kinda weird?
Here's another tidbit: My crazy-ass contract came back bearing a happy stamp today. I am hella relieved, feel like kicking off my Postmodern pumps and relaxing in a stew of serenity. So excited, so ready to embark on this adventure that I wanna shit right in my dinner bowl and skate off toward the Denny's in the distance. Will righteousness or laziness rule my fortune? Will the Big Jew say of me: "You were too impetuouth" ?
MYW at 9:57 PM
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