Thursday, September 18, 2008
Skipped over August I guess straight into the harvest season new peer group and all the associated feelings, hard time finding the right role at least a little more sure of myself but still constantly evaluating my behavior tryna please whomever. All around campus activities today excited about my job, opportunities are endless, fascinating, empowering and daunting, as always. Somewhat concerned for friends comin back what will go down I can't even pretend to place it lots of stuff to be excited about. Romance? The old options are out, most definitely i would like to keep employed. One lady caught my eye always thought she was pretty now really, like her smile and funny, quite beautiful, kinda quiet, can I guess what is under the head? So tired usually and disinterested Afraid I'm doing the lootsgollin angelicizing routine, succumbing to fantasy.... was feeling attraction thru the viscera but don't know if i pursued where would it lead feel like she's a wildcard and it intimidates me in my closed up sheltered white world never could understand the life where people just let it out that feral expulsivity terrifies my sanity and my hivphobia. Takes so long to make a friend, hard in a transient world everyone movin around all the time, never really learned a stable loving friendship, though I'm trying to hype myself into it, but jesus, some of the stuff I wanna say scares teh shit out of me.MYW at 6:38 PM
1 Comments
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at September 14, 2020 at 8:10 PM
Unknown said... express yourself
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