Sunday, July 27, 2008
I like to enjoy a tasty meal. But dinner's hard when eyes are darting this way and that. Maybe I think about eating more than most, but it doesn't seem like many people enjoy eating at my table. I can't tell if it's the food, the plates, the drapes - something turns them away, and I find myself dining solo. I am used to this, and my aristology accomodates my lonely dining. This is not to say I am satisfied.MYW at 1:55 PM
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Free
I'm imposing a moratorium on spending, clamping down on cash flow. This feral decadence, this lust for eastern goods is threatening to leave me impoverished. I could have added to my empire; sail west, conquer the infidels, sweep up their riches, retire a rich hero. I'm sure Plato would disapprove – how can I rule others if I can't even rule myself? No, abstinence is surely much safer.
Anything that comes my way must have no strings attached.
MYW at 3:43 PM
Friday, July 11, 2008
Uncontrollable excess masked in madness costumes a man in a hat forever infatuated no time alone no time for the phone so if you've been waiting for a call, cool it. Regarding what transpired in the east, nothing can take the place of persistence, but even this can break down in the face of fear, of pain and of the the foreign. Those alien abduction stories are a testament to it, stuck on an operating table, helpless these big eyed beings beyond scrutiny; mere seconds to offer a response to an utterly incomprehensible situation. Thus they adopt a new story. The old one just didn't suffice. But to say it is new: that is to reject what was always there: Whatever takes my fancy, leads me down a new avenue, and I think, this is really great, I'm going to do this forever. The most important thing in my life at this moment, but nothing can take me away from the self that permanence that utterly inescapable element. This new thing, it is great, for sure, but I am only deluding myself to think that it offers an exit. Sooner or later I have to come back to what was always there. I don't always dig it though.MYW at 12:39 AM
Never had such a feeling, actually not so true, have had it many times, everybody doing their thing while I while away my time on the couch couched in remembrance of my deeds under the influence writing white wings understating things stings my memory want to scream but theres nothing but memes to utter in my madness a series of delicately crafted cliches, a cultural catechism, axioms of americana. Many cannot understand it and that's okay can't complain about what arrives in my mailbox but I read the letters and I save em anyway, file em away without rhyme or reason in the middle of the room. I read em over when no one's watching and have no recourse but to smile, though I couldn't explain the humor to anyone. Speeding through a hopeless isolation which gives its own kind of relief, laments itself but satisfies nonetheless, a self-contained untouchable experience which provides its own tension, catharsis, and comfort. You can watch and understand or else you don't get it so you can wrack your mind trying to figure the madness out or you can sit there scratching your head or you can bust your brain cells over this snafu. Or you can wait and maybe the humor comes to you, ineffable but inexorable and you do what you can to acknowledge it or else it passes and it was all yours for an instant. It'll take forever to figure that shit out.MYW at 12:13 AM
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Panopticon
I whiled away a hour this afternoon on the IRS hotline, shuffled between three different departments before my call was put, indefinitely, on hold. The greasy handset of the payphone smeared against my ear, I queasily prepared myself for what promised to be endless reiterations of "The Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy." As that flowery waltz embarked upon its 25th repeat, I began to wonder if I'd been had: I imagined the IRS call center funneling all of its enquirers, some slower than others, into a sort of spiral penny gutter, whose gruesome terminus none had lived to report.In my Pekarian dejection, I stood up to stretch my musculature. A paroxysm of blood rushed to my head, threatening to topple me - I groped madly for stability, landing tragically on the flash switch! Flutes and strings ceased, whisking away with them my hopes for proof of non-filing status, in an abject click!
MYW at 8:10 PM